What is the first and most important fact about grown-up people in the UK? They would rather have someone to go to the pub with than have a romantic partner. And are you going to find this incredibly important piece of information in a travel guide? No. Can a native UK person explicate this to you? No. Can you find it on social media? No. But is it true, am I telling you an essential rule of UK life? Yes.
To be clear, Darling, we are not going to explain the UK to you as explaining is always fraught with emotional difficulties and could possibly lead to thinning hair and bad breath, but we can point you in the right direction: Unforgotten, series 5. TV shows are so much more useful than reading guide books but Downton Abbey or Sherlock are not going to help. Those kind of BBC shows are about special types, you need a more down-to-earth, realistic (as in, utterly depressing) show: Unforgotten.
Endeavor has its uses – it ended on a suitably, unredeemablely bleak note and you could clearly see that when Endeavor stopped going to the pub, his life fell apart but there were far too many moments of levity and warmth.
Unforgotten shows you exactly how life is in the UK and series 5 is particularly instructive.
Let’s see now – pub over romantic partner. Main character continually disappoints romantic partner in his efforts to become friends with new boss, and when boss finally agrees to go to the pub together – bells ring, doves coo, confetti cascades from the ceiling and there is peace in the valley. Why would anyone need someone to come home to? Have a friend to go to the pub with, get drunk and then when you return home to your empty house, you will be too drunk to care that you live alone.
And my favorite part [which would save so many misunderstandings if foreign airlines showed this clip as planes were landing at Heathrow] main character goes into boss’s office to complain about co-worker A. Character is devastated over sudden death of co-worker X, can’t get over the loss and is failing to bond with new co-worker A.
Boss makes appropriate noises and then, when character continues to complain, boss… does nothing, says nothing (not even a nod!) – absolute brutal, impassive, frozen face. Character walks out, camera pans on boss sitting immobile and then, scene cut. Boss will do nothing to help – boss is incapable of emotional support in any way shape or form. Excellent lesson, excellently portrayed.
The cruelty of those in charge to those beneath them is so seldom well-delineated in your “International Business Standards” classes and texts but Unforgotten is here to help. To wit: A is unapproachable big boss, B is sad underling who befriends his own underling C. B and C bond against A, until A makes an overture of friendship to B, at which point B immediately ditches C without explanation. It’s all you will ever need to know about UK office politics.
And speaking of politics – if you never understood the many evils of Thatcher and Thacher-spawn, Unforgotten will elucidate. It may take a little while to get going, but by the last episode, there you have it: the cruelty, the mendacity, the immorality, the sheer wickedness laid bare.
Of course it is depressing without mercy, but it’s also realistic. Beneath the F & M, cute taxis, ploughman’s lunches and all that nattering about tea – it’s abusive wives, cheating husbands, brutal bosses and warm beer. Cheers!
Surviving a visit to a UK, American, Arabian or Australian home
Tales of Feuds, Tribes and Water Bottles
Do Not Travel to the UK – Read! – Instructions for Happiness
Joyful Traveling in the Time of Awful Airlines (and Reminders about How to Pack)
How To Behave - Etiquette Central 