Good advice
- Settle all irreconcilable differences with rock, paper, scissors
Advice from Grandmama
- Dress for your job
- Buy gold jewelry if you can
- Go to bed mad if you want to
- Pick your time to talk, compliment or complain – make sure the person has the brain-space to listen so they can really concentrate when you tell them what a twit-faced troll they are
- Get up every morning doing what you love, or doing something that will get you to the place where you are doing what you love
- Never look in a hotel mirror after a long flight
Advice from Brits
- If you are too drunk to get to the bar to order and pay for a drink or you don’t have friends who will bring you drinks, then you can’t drink
- Keep relentless good cheer and fake stiff upper lip in the face of train delays, rain, boring people and other misfortunes of life
Advice from ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Shaggy
- Deny your tomcat ways, even if the accuser has video
Advice from ‘Messing Around’ Pitbull
- Be clear about your tomcat ways so people can enjoy or avoid you as necessary
Advice from a CEO
- When you are in a management position, no one wants to hear you speak; corollary: anyone who smiles widely when they see you is faking it
- Don’t use the term “invite: – say “attendance mandatory”
- Don’t pay for a ‘team dinner’ (especially not on a weekend night at a restaurant) – no one wants to socialize outside of work
- For work celebrations put pastries, fresh fruit, drinks, hang a sign that says, “well done” and give bonuses
Advice from Ancient Greeks
- Revenge happens
- Karma happens – being unfair will backfire in unexpected hideous ways
How To Behave - Etiquette Central 